


What You Are Doesn't Define Who You Are

by DeadWolvesWatching



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alpha Michonne, Alpha Negan, Alpha Rick, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Day, Carl also has some fucked-up fantasies, Carl feels misunderstood, Eating Disorder, Hurting self, I just put that there just in case, I may use the word blood too much, I must be a bad person to make these kinds of tags, Judith's a mystery, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Negan is a definite softie sometimes, Not Beta Read, Not everyone's an ABO, Oh BTW probably not slow burn, Omega Carl, REAAAALLY intense nightmares, Really intense nightmares, Slow Burn, Sorry again, Suicidal Thoughts, Weird Daydreams, What you are doesn't define you, You Have Been Warned, but this is A/B/O & mates we're talkin about xD, friends first, i don't know yet, it's possible, not for long, ossible Mpreg, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23081902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadWolvesWatching/pseuds/DeadWolvesWatching
Summary: Carl is a hurting, small teenager pup with some issues that he keeps to himself.His pack is rivals with the Saviors pack and they have some territory issues.Carl goes out to be by himself and gets caught accidentally passing the Savior's territory. He is kept hostage by Negan, pack leader, and he must find a way to escape Negan's clutches.But what happens if Carl and Negan become closer to the line… past friendship, but the line bordering on forbidden love…?
Relationships: Carl Grimes & Michonne, Carl Grimes/Negan, Judith & Carl Grimes, Judith Grimes & Michonne, Judith Grimes & Rick Grimes, Michonne/Rick Grimes, Rick Grimes & Carl Grimes
Comments: 36
Kudos: 27





	1. During The Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all!  
> It's me, and I thank all of y'all who are gonna read WYADDWYA.
> 
> Loooong chapters, so I won't be posting often. Oof, I am _so_ going to suffer from Fanfic withdrawals.
> 
> I'm busy most of the time to add to it.
> 
> I'm actually really open with friendly emails from people who just want to talk.
> 
> I'm also looking for people who want to do a collaborative/roleplay fanfic with me, so comment if you want to.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 goes like this:
> 
> Carl goes off on his own into the woods one night, even though he knows it isn't allowed, and has his _nose problem_ again. He gets caught passing his pack's rival- the Saviors- territory.
> 
> Negan gets waken up loudly by a patrolling wolf who tells him about a wolf that smells like the Alexandians. He gets up and goes out by himself to investigate, and finds Carl. They tussle, but being the stronger wolf, Negan naturally wins and takes Carl back with him to his house as some sort of prisoner.
> 
> Carl and Negan talk, and Carl and Negan fall back asleep, and when Carl wakes up, he remembers where he is. Carl waits for Negan to get up and looks around, searching for some sort of weapon.

(These chapters switch from Carl's POV to Negan's. To tell, watch out for these symbols: *, ~ . "*" means it will now be Carl's POV, and "~" means it is now Negan's.)

* 

Carl looks around his bedroom and sniffs, seeing if his little sister, his dad, or his dad's mate, Michonne was awake. When he was sure they weren't, he gets up and opens his door as silently as possible, letting out a lone _creak_. Carl holds his breath and waits. 

Nothing. 

Carl sighs and continues onward, not bothering to put on shoes as he walks out of the house. He knows he won't need them. 

He hops onto the street, looking around before continuing to walk down it, into the woods. He supresses the urge to whistle merrily as he enters the forest. 

Carl walks about ten to twenty yards into the woods before letting the transformation take over him. 

The transformation from person to wolf wasn't as horrible as others think. Really, it was beautiful. Or at least, it was to other werewolves. Their ears would slide upward and become pointed and furry. They would grow tails and drop down to all fours, their hind legs adjusting to the new posistion. Then their face would change, growing longer and furry. Their eyes would change posistion and shape. Oh, and if you're wondering about their clothes, then wonder no more. Their clothes just like…disappear. They _think_ that they disappear entirely into fur, then reappear (like they do) back as clothes when they change back. 

Anyway, when Carl was done, he keeps walking further into the forest, sniffing around often. And that's when it happened. Carl's _nose problem_. Carl's problem with his nose was that he just stopped smelling things. Like, entirely. 

Carl keeps going unknowingly, when he hears a shifting sound. He looks and sees a shaking bush. He raises his head and sniffs the air. 

_"Dammit,"_ he snarls. He stands still, knowing that he must've passed _the Saviors' border._ Carl hears a low growl, and gets into attacking posistion.

~ 

Negan blinks wearily awake as someone knocks on his door. He huffs and opens the door. 

"Whadda ya want?" he asks irritably. The person in front of him freezes and Negan groans impatiently. "What?" he says, quieter this time.

"Uh… Negan… _sir,_ we, uh, found an intruder." the person says, stuttering. Negan was just feeling disappointed, until he heard about the intruder. 

"Wait, _what?_ " Negan demands, standing alert and attentive. The person nods. "Where? Who? Is it from _them?_ " 

"Well, sir, he seems to be yong, but we don't know who this is. And he's… well, you could smell him easily really. Dwight's with him now." the person says, seeming to lose his stutter, becoming braver in Negan's presence. Negan nods and pushes past the person, shutting the door. "Oh, and sir?" 

_"Yes?"_ Negan asks, swinging around. The person steps off of his porch and backs up. 

"Well… he smells lightly like the Grimes' kid. Looks like it, too. So yeah, he's definitely from Alexandria." Negan growls and curses. 

"Fuck. Of course it couldn't be some sort of fuckin' misunderstanding. _Ohh no._ It _had_ to be one of them. And maybe _Rick Grimes' kid._ " Negan stalks down the road, of which, was really damn close to the woods. The person watches helplessly after Negan, but them nods and turns around. He had done his job. 

Negan stomps into the woods, not caring about his clamor. Oh, they would _know_ he was there. His smell, his noise, his- But wait… Negan could quietly dismiss Dwight, then take the kid- supposedly a kid- on himself. Yes. Silently. 

Negan slows down and waits for the transformation. Yup. There it is. Negan walks silently through the trees and branches and sticks. When he gets to the scene, he stops and catches Dwight's eye. 

"Dwight," Negan huffs. "Go home. Send my regards to Sherry." Dwight nods and runs off, tail swaying back and forth with every pawstep. Negan's attention snaps back to the kid. 

Smallish, skinny, brown colored, and oh god. There it was. The telltale sign. The sign of him _yes_ being the Grimes' kid. 

Well, two signs. Two obvious, not hidable signs. Oh, and his fur was really shaggy. 

One, his lack of a fucking eye, and two, his blue/gray eye color. _Damn,_ this kid was sticking out like a sore fuckin' thumb. Oh, and he was looking badass doing it. 

"Well, well. Lookie what we have here." Negan taunts, tilting his head, so wishing he could swing his bat around over his shoulder, because _God,_ this was a bat swinging moment. "So, what are you doing here, hmm?" 

The kid- Carl Grimes was his name, Negan knew that much- growls. Negan snorts and takes in the kid's posistion. What was _with_ this kid?

Carl was crouched down into a pretty damn small ball of fur and the smell of fear mixed with anger. Yeah, Negan could take him on. Pretty easily, too. 

Negan stands there, growing impatient as the kid doesn't answer him. Negan growls to himself and uses just _little_ bit of his Alpha power over other wolves. 

"I asked you a question, _god damnit._ Now fucking answer me." Negan snarls, leaning over the kid slightly, using his height to his advantage. The kid whimpers. 

Fuck. Negan eases up a little bit. Stay calm, stay in control, and Jesus this kid was earning his sympathy. 

What is he? An Omega? 

"So… are you gonna answer me, kid? Because either way, I need answers." Negan says, going back to his regular, non-influencing self. The kid shifts and the smell of anger grows larger. 

And that was how Negan knew that the spring was coming. Negan sidesteps the kid just barely. The kid lands on his feet and turns, snarling. He still looked really tired and weak. But damn, this kid has got some _guts._

"Really?" Negan taunts. "Is that all ya got, kid?" the kid stalks forward, still not speaking. "The silent treatment? _Seriously?_ " the kid paces another step forward, and Negan backs up. Not because he was scared, fuck no. But because he wanted answers, and he didn't want to scare the shit outta this kid. 

"Fine." the kid says, surprisingly calm. "I'll talk." Negan grins. But he still eyes the kid suspicously. He was still walking forward, and Negan _really_ didn't want to fight. But if it came down to it, you bet this kid's skinny ass that it's happenin', and Negan would win. 

__"Oh, that's nice." Negan's heart jumps a bit. 'Yes! Finally. This kid is tough to handle.' he thinks. "So, can you please answer me?" the kid smiles back at Negan, tilting his head slightly. Wow. Nice teeth. Strong, not going anywhere. Though, even if they did, Negan knew that they would grow back._ _

__"Oh, I said I would talk, but I didn't say I would answer your questions." the kid barks a laugh. Negan's heart jumped again. Oh, this kid got some fucking _sass._ _ _

__"Well, fuck you kid. Fuck you. I came all this way, and nothing. I've never had a wasteful vacation, and I'm not startin' now." Negan puts a teasing tone in his voice._ _

__"Fuck _you._ " the kid huffs, rolling his eye. Negan takes a cautious step forward. That kid's long fur was covering his eye hole, and Negan wanted to see it so fucking badly. _ _

__"You wish." Negan replies. He uses some of his charming Alpha quality into his next words. "And you don't even know how much you wish." Negan hums, almost sounding like a purring cat._ _

__The kid pounces, and Negan sidesteps it and lightly as possible, swipes the kid's flank. This goes on for a bit, and Negan feels like he's playfighting. Or dancing around, which reminded him of playmating. Negan's eyes flare open at that. No. Noooooo. No.__

__Negan stops it all by placing a large forepaw on top of the kid's neck, and forcing him down. The kid- CARL whines as he lay on the ground forcefully._ _

__"C'mon kid, we're going to my house. Get up, let's go." Negan presses down harder before letting Carl go. Negan shifts back into human form, and sighs. God this form was so much better for talking. Words always seemed to roll awkwardly off of his tongue in wolf form. He wondered if Carl felt the same. Maybe. Perhaps…_ _

Negan purses his lips and watch Carl change back into human form, and scowl at him, obviously purposely putting a lage wad of hair over his eyes. Negan supresses the urge to sigh and laugh at the same time. 

* 

Carl looks at the door with trepidation. Really? 'Oh, you passed my border, and fought me and didn't answer my questions? Welcome to my home! You have free access to lots of things!' 

Not that Carl didn't enjoy the hospitality. Or was it that Carl enjoyed not the hospitality, but the good looks and large charm that had came over him. 

"Ya coming in or what, kid?" Negan calls from inside. Carl shrugs, scowls, annd steps inside of _his enemy's house._ Carl looks at Negan sitting on the couch, glances down, and sits on the floor, right in front of Negan. Carl felt disappointed with himself. Really? That was such a sign of weakness. Why act like such an Omega? 

Because that's what he was. An Omega. And, the first Alpha that he found attracting, he sits on the fucking _floor._

Carl glances up and sees Negan staring at him, a grin of such horrible joy on his very good looking face. 

What? No. 

'Stop,' Carl thinks. 'Stop it right now.' 

"So, dear friend." Negan starts, a hint of strain in his voice. Carl tilts his head, confused. "Shall we talk now?" Carl nods slowly. He sniffs the air. Oh fuck. Goddammit, Carl! 

Carl had a slight flow of… ugh… attraction coming from _himself._

"Now," Negan clears his throat, sliding away from Carl. Carl blushes for all it's worth. "Why did you come here?" 

"I was out wandering tonight. It was an accident." Carl says simply. It was the truth, so why should he hide it. "Then I couldn't smell anything anymore. So I passed the border without smelling that I did it." Carl looks down. 

He feels Negan's hand on his shoulder and looks up. Negan was leaning forward, concentration on his face, obviously holding his breath. 

"Nose problems, eh?" Negan says after taking his hand off of Carl's shoulder and leans as far away from him as possible. "Alrighty then. Next question. What the holy fuck happened to your eye? I heard about it from Daddy Grimes, but I never knew what happened." Carl scowls, returning to his angry mood. 

"Wolf hunters. Duh. It got shot." Carl says shrugging. Carl ached to scoot closer to Negan and maybe as wolf, put his head in Negan's lap and feel Negan pet his head. Carl sighs happily, eye closing. 

"So… can I see it?" That next question makes Carl's eye snap open, and he growls. Carl backs up and goes in a defensive stance. 

"Fuck no. _Fuck. No._ " Carl snaps. Negan puts his hands up and grins. Carl leans towards him and stops. 

"Alright, alright. I was just ask- woah. What the fuck are you doing?" Negan leans away from Carl, but soon realizes that he had already leaned as far away from Carl as possible. Carl huffs and looks away. "Uh… so, what're we gonna do now? And I'm letting you pick because I have _this_ much sympathy for you right now." Negan puts up two of his fingers about an inch apart. Carl brightens. 

An advantage. But that was soon down the drain as Negan looks at him pointedly. 

"But that will go completely away if you try to use that against. That shit is not cool in my book." Carl huffs again. 

"Where the _fuck_ am I supposed to sleep, huh?" Carl growls, a sudden flash of anger overtaking him. Negan eyes him strangely and sighs. 

"On the couch, I think. Unless if you're good, then you can sleep in the guest room. Or…" Negan trails off teasingly. Great. Just what Carl needed. To have a teasing attractive asshole in the same fucking house as him. But Carl wanted to take up that offer. 

But no. If they got close, the closest they would get is friends. And even that is far fetched. 

"Well. Fine." Carl watches Negan's face. Negan nods and gets up with another sigh. 

"Alright. Couch. I'll get some fucking blankets if that's what you want." Negan offers tiredly. Carl shakes his head. No. He was planning on sleeping on the floor tonight. Not that he wanted to. Oh god. He did want to sleep on the floor sometimes, but not tonight. 

They both get situated, Negan going to his own room and disappearing, Carl on the couch. But as soon as Negan was out of sight, Carl hopped off the couch and onto the floor. He sighs and snuggles into it. 

Carl blinks his eye open, confused. Where the fuck was he, and why the fuck was there light? 

Then he remembers. Oh. He was in his enemy's house, sleeping on his enemy's floor. Carl gets up with a groan and a couple huffs. He was not exactly a morning person. Carl decides to search around for… 

Something. Alright fine. 

A weapon. 

He wasn't psychotic or anything, he just had these urges, and couldn't resist them. They were calling him. 

Carl searches around frantically. Plus, he needed to protect himself from a fucking _Alpha_ , because he was a fucking _Omega._ Carl bites his lip and frowns. 

"Dammit." he mutters. Then he spots something. A drawer. He didn't look in that one. Probably because it was hidden. Yeah. Maybe… 

Bingo! Carl sighs in relief. 

"Oh thank fuck." he breathes. He tucks the small knife into his pocket gently, and arranges it so it didn't show. 

"Thank fuck what?" A cheerful, intrusive, familiar voice inturrupts the silence. 

Carl freezes.


	2. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan has woken up (obviously.) and lets Carl take a shower. In the meantime, Dwight stops by and they talk. Dwight tells Negan that he and Carl both had some pretty good slashes at each other, and Negan reminds himself to check Carl out. Negan has to leave, so he tells Dwight to stay there and leaves.
> 
> Carl takes a shower, and we see his scars for the first time. Carl adds some new injuries to his collection from last night, and we go pretty in depth with Carl's scars, explaining their shapes and what they mean. Then, Carl steps out of the shower, sees Dwight, annd they talk. Carl offers to be friends, and Dwight agrees. Dwight sees an odd looking scar on Carl's wrist.
> 
> Negan comes back and bades Dwight farewell. Dwight quietly tells him about Carl's scar. Negan promises to checkit out. Negan and Carl go places, and Negan takes Carl to lunch. Carl barely eats. Other things also happen (you'll see)
> 
> Carl and Negan play games, and an incident happens. Negan lets Carl sleep in the guest room instead of the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This chapter's pretty long, and I hope y'all like it. Please comment and kudos, it would be most appreciated.
> 
> This chapter's barely the begining. Each of them seem to double in size, I swear. Be ready for a handful.
> 
> Warning:  
> This chapter may be a trigger for some people. Just a warning.

~ 

Negan watches Carl's face for any trace of scaredness. Nope. None. Only annoyedness and non-a-morning-person-ness. That was gonna suck for Carl. Because, Negan, was most definitely a morning person. Really, an everything but lying cheating stealing, and all the crime stuff person. 

"None of your damn business." Carl snaps. Negan's face lights up. Oh, how he loved having verbal sparring partners, and Carl was going to be Negan's definite favorite. 

"Oh, but it is. You're in my house, so, actually, dear friend, it is my damn business." Negan says back, snarkily. Carl scowls. Negan liked it when his face was mad, but he was sure that a smile would be better. Which would be so much more of a present, because of Carl's constant anger that rolled in waves off of him. 

"Fine fine. Whatever." Carl finally relents. He walks away and Negan stares after him. Bad idea! Negan rubs his hands together mentally, chuckling evilly. Negan liked puzzles. And definitely challenges. And Carl was definitely both. 

"So! I've decided; you can take a shower. Go ahead. Bathroom is over yonder. Have fun." Negan says, waving his hand in the general direction of the bathroom. Carl nods and watches Negan's face suspiciously. Negan grins, but soon regrets it. Wisps of attractedness reached Negan's nose, and he wrinkles it. "Yes. You should go. Go." Negan says, backing up. 

Negan finally relaxes when he hears the water running in the shower. He jumps when he hears the doorbell. Huh. Guess he wasn't as relaxed as he felt. 

"Yes? Oh, Dwight!" Negan greets his friend when he opens the door. "Come in come in. Carl's in the shower, so don't run the water." Negan tosses over his shoulder as he sinks back down onto the couch. Dwight sits next to him. 

"So, you brought him in?" Dwight asks. "You seem tense." Negan glances over and breathes out a sigh. 

"Yes, yes I did. He seems… Omega-ish. I have a feeling I might regret this. I'm a fucking Alpha, Dwight. An _Alpha._ " Negan bites his lip. "And he seems all… Omega-ish. As in, all over me." Negan huffs, throwing his hands up in the air. Dwight pats his back. 

"Maybe you should get some of those Omega pills. You still have your own pills, right?" Dwight asks, seeming concerned. It was sincere. Dwight seriously was concerned. Negan nods. 

"Yeah. Of course. I don't even know if he is Omega. He's just… attracted to me. Apparently. I can't even fucking smile at him. But at the same time, he's mouthy as fuck. Sort of. Also sort of brooding." Negan grimaces, and Dwight makes a 'hmm' sound. 

"Sooo... that's a bit awkward." Dwight shifts uncomfortably next to Negan. Negan slumps against the back of the couch, groaning. "I hope you figure things out. Best of luck. Although…" Negan rolls his head to the side to look at Dwight. Dwight looks hesitantly back at Negan. "Have you thought of the possibility that… you guys are… mates?" 

Negan springs off of the couch and starts pacing immediately. 

_"No!_ We are so not mates, Dwight. That has got to be not true. It can't even be a possibility!" Negan gets inturrupted as his phone vibrates. "Sorry, just a moment." Negan takes out his phone and looks at the text. 

_Can we talk?_

Negan ponders this, and decides that he needs a break. He sighs. "Dwight, can ya be a pal and stay here, someone wants to talk to me." Dwight huffs, but nods. "Thanks Dwighty-boy." Dwight scowls at this. 

"How much times have I told you to stop calling me that?" Dwight gives a pointed look towards Negan. Negan grins and steps towards the door. 

"Seeya, Dwighty-boy!" Negan winks and goes outside, sighing in relief. 

_On my way. Your house?_

_Yeah. See you there._

Comes the reply. Negan nods and heads towards the person's house. 

_Negan! Stop calling me that._

A text from Dwight says. Negan snorts and continues walking. He was going to ignore texts from Dwight until he tells Negan something more interesting. 

_Oh, and just a heads up, if the kid has some wounds, it's because me and him got in some pretty good slashes at each other._

Negan sighs. He was going to have to discreetly check Carl for any noticable wounds. Daddy Grimes would be pissed if his kid showed up with scratches. 

_Duly noted D-b. Thanks._

Negan chuckles as he gets the next text from Dwight. He shakes his head and knocks on the person's door. 

_Fuck you._

* 

Carl relaxes as the hot water hits his face. 'God, I needed that.' he thinks. 'This is nice…' 

Carl fingers the knife he held in his hands and places it lightly at his right side. He slices into his side into a fairly straight line. He gasps at the pain. It had been a while since he'd done this. 

"I…" Carl whispers. The one image that kept flashing in his mind in full glory and color what Negan's scarf. "Yes. That's the one." Carl winces as he slices two more lines into the shape of a scarf. Sorta. More like a triangle, but then Carl adds two more lines at the top of the scarf to make a sort of tie-shape-thing. He watches the scarf shaped wound turn red and smiles at the resemblance to Negan's scarf. 

Carl revels in the pain, sighing happily. He steps completely into the spray of water to let the blood go down the drain. Then he looks at his torso and laughs. 

There was an array of scars there, all high enough to be hidden underneath his shirt, even if he lifted his arms over his head.

Carl traces the one right beside the scarf one he just made. It was a smiley face. That one… Carl sighs. That one was the memory of his little sister- Judith, of whom was six now- almost being killed. 

Memories flooded into Carl's head. Judith, beaming up at Carl, for letting her go to the meadow inside of Alexandria's territory. Judith, spinning without a care in the world, arms outstretched. Little Judy, face tearstained, looking down at the deer that had bounded in the way as wolf hunters tried to kill her. 

"That deer saved my life." Judith had whispered, looking back up at Carl. Carl had crossed to her, shaking, trying to not cry. 

Carl moves his fingers over to the scar on the other side of his torso. A ring. Like, a wedding ring. A makeshift diamond shape on top of the circle. That one was signaling two things. One, his biological mother, Lori, dying, and his new mother… Michonne… and how his dad had found new love. 

Carl moves to the one right next to the wedding ring. A frowny face. That one… now _that_ one was for Carl's jealousy. Carl wanted that love. That's what the frowny face was for. He wanted that love, and thought that he had found it, but no. Instead, his crush, Enid, was a Beta. Of course she was. And so was his crush before Lori died, Sophia. He could never seem to find a someone that he could actually have a relationship with. Now, though, Sophia and Enid were his friends. Sophia and Enid were sort of opposites though. 

Carl scowls and moves to his right wrist. A horseshoe. That one was for the horse he and Enid had saved, but found dead a week later. That one was sad. Horrible. And Carl wanted revenge on what killed it, but Enid and Sophia _and_ Judith all banded together to stop him. Jesus. Those females in his life.

Carl laughs bitterly. Then he shakes out of his memories and quickly finishes his shower. He gets out and dries up. He puts on his clothes and pokes his head out of the bathroom. When he ses no one, he sighs and steps out and heads into the living room. He, in fact, does not see Negan, but the wolf that attacked him last night. 

"Oh!" the person exclaims. They shift uncomfortably and nods to aknowledge Carl's presence. "I'm Dwight. Who are you?" Carl sits on the couch as far away from this 'Dwight' guy as possible. 

"I'm Carl. Carl Grimes." Carl quickly decided to use his last name. The person- Dwight. Call him Dwight- nods again. 

"I thought so." They fall into an awkward silence. Carl mulls over what to say next. He opens his mouth but snaps it shut agan. 'No. Wrong thing to say.' he thinks. 

"I'm sorry about yesterday night. Y'see, I have this nose problem…" Carl trails off and Dwight raises his eyebrows. 

"Continue." Dwight prompts. Carl exhales a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

"It makes me stop smelling everything. It's like a blocked nose." Dwight visibly shudders. Blocked noses were nothing to mess with. It left a wolf vulnerable. It was even worse for Omegas who suddenly go into heat. Then, Alphas would track them down without the poor Omega knowing, and the Alphas would fight for the Omega, and… well. Let's just say that blocked noses are shit.

"Oh," Dwight says simply. "Well…" Carl looks down then back up. Carl slowly puts out his right hand. 

"I'm sorry. Could we… be friends instead?" Carl offers. "I really do feel sorry. And I like you. You're nice." Dwight smiles for the first time, and Carl feels himself mirror him. Dwight takes his hand and pauses. Then he shakes it. 

"Absolutely. Yes." Dwight agrees. Carl sighs in relief. At least he had _some_ sort of friend here in this… hellhole. Carl and Dwight both settle back down and stare at each other. Carl opens his mouth to say something random, but Dwight beats him to it. "Uh… what's your favorite food?" 

"Spaghetti." Carl immediately replies. Spaghetti was his comfort food. He liked it. It calmed him down. It was nothing like his nest, of course, but spaghetti was for when he wasn't nearby it, or when his family was going through his closet. (That's where his nest was) "What's yours?" Dwight 'hmm's 

"I like… wow! I can't help but agree with you! My wife, Sherry, makes a mean spaghetti." Dwight laughs. Carl grins with delight. Oh, he had to go and meet this Sherry, especially if he was here and nowhere near his beautiful, soft, comfortable nest. "What's your favorite type of sandwich?" Dwight asks next. This time, Carl had to think it over. 

"I like… peanut butter and jelly. Or honey… Oh god… both of them are the best!" Carl moans, wishing he could have a sandwich. Dwight snickers. 

"Oh, come on, Carl! You can only pick one!" Dwight teases. Carl sticks his tongue out at Dwight and growls lightly, playfully. 

"I like the raw honey best." Dwight and Carl both say at the same time. They burst into laughter. Carl felt overjoyed that he had found an amazing friend already. 

"Favorite movie?" Carl asks. Dwight shakes his head, laughing. "You don't have one?" Carl says curiously. Dwight shakes his head again. 

"No, no. It's not that. It's just that my favorite movie disc was so old, and I'd let so much careless people borrow it, it… died. Scratched and shit." Dwight laughs again, sadly. Carl tentatively reaches out and pats him on the back comfortingly. He knew what it was like to lose items you love. 

"What was it, though?" Carl pries. Dwight snorts and looks back up, giving Carl a look. 

"Damn, kid. You and your answers. It was Rocky Horror Picture Show. Definitely not for kids, but god, it was so funny." Dwight snorts. "I had that disc for over fifteen years." Carl raises his eyebrows. Well, one of them unseeable because of the bandage over his missing eye. 

"Huh." was all Carl said. Dwight's face brightens and he turns back to face Carl. "You should probably get another one. My favorite movie is…" Carl sighs. Did he really hafta say it? Like, seriously? Though he guessed that he wouldn't be judged. _"One_ of them is Mrs. Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children" Carl answers. "But that's only one. I also like Love, Simon. Favorite game?" 

"Monopoly." Dwight nods. Carl nods appreciatively. "Negan likes Uno." Dwight says casually. Carl freezes. It was the first time that his name had entered the conversation. "He's really competetive, and likes fuckin' you up with skips and shit." Carl breathes in deeply. 

"S-sounds like him." Carl squeaks. 'Dammit,' he thinks. 'Dammit, Carl, what the fuck!' Dwight clears his throat. 

"He also likes singular rounds. One-on-one, ya know? He thinks that they're the most intense." Dwight goes on, more carefully. Carl nods and rolls his eye. 

"Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me to play. It seems like a sort of winning truimph over the other person to him." Carl sighs. "Uno is my favorite though, too. So I'll have it coming." Dwight laughs at his expense. "Hey!" Carl glares. 

"Tell me how that goes, okay? I want you to beat his ass. Though, being the Alpha he is, that'll make him want to play more and more and more." Dwight snorts and pats Carl on the back this time.

"I am _ba-ack!"_ Someone- Negan, duh- says. Carl sits up straight and a growl escapes his throat. If Negan noticed, he didn't mention it. "Hullo, Carl!" 

~ 

"Thanks for staying, Dwight." Negan grins at Dwight. Dwight smiles back. "I hope you had very much fun with that one over there." 

"I did." Dwight says truthfully. Negan frowns. Had fun? With that kid? It seemed very much impossible. "Oh, and there's this odd looking scar on his right wrist. I saw it when we were shaking hands." Dwight says casually. Negan nods and brightens. 'Scar… look for it…' his brain urged. Negan agreed with his head for once. Negan was worried about it. Was someone hurting Carl? Or… was he… hurting himself? 

"Thanks for telling me Dwighty-boy!" Negan says cheerfully. He pushes Dwight out the door. "Seeya!" 

"Negan!" Dwight protests. Negan laughs evilly and slams the door shut. Then he turns and goes back to Carl on the couch, still grinning. 

"So." Negan clears his throat. "Wanna go and come with me? I'll show you around." Carl brightens and nods. So they were off. "That's the neighborhood, this is the mall, and right inside the mall… right in the front, is my favorite restaurant." Negan cheerfully says. "And we're going there. For lunch. Right now."

"Okay." Carl says submissively in return. "Let's go then." And they did. Negan and Carl were now sitting down at a table, and Negan was scarfing down his food. He kept one eye on Carl, who was just looking out the window, and barely touched his food. Negan continued to get worried for Carl. 

'What's wrong with him? Is he okay?' Negan allowed these thoughts through, but drew the line at; 'Let's take care of him! Let's love on him! Let's make him happy!'

Negan scowls down at his food, hating this protectiveness over this beautiful, helpless wolf pup. Technically Carl was almost full grown, and adult, but he was still pretty damn young in Negan's point of view. Negan looks back up and puts on a neutral, amused expression, trying to hide the emotions chasing each other through his head. "Not hungry?" Negan asks casually, raising an eyebrow. Carl huffs and shakes his head. Negan sighs. "Oh, well. Some other day we'll come back here when you _are_ hungry." Carl nods. 

"Sure," he says quietly. "Does that mean we can leave now? Go back to your house?" Negan nods and stands up. Carl breathes out in relief, and Negan smiles at him. He was nice. Not demanding. Probably not an Alpha, but a Beta… maybe. Negan was sure to keep an eye on Carl (No pun intended) just in case if the kid turned out to be an Omega.

When they return to Negan's beloved home, Carl was biting his lip anxiously. Negan had the distinct feeling that Carl felt awkward and uncomfortable. Negan thinks. 'Well…' he decides. 'What about Uno? I mean, it's my favorite game, and we're at my home, so… yeah. Just ask.' 

"Wanna play some games?" Negan asks. They could always work up to Uno, if Carl wasn't ready for Negan's massive competetiveness when it came to Uno, and really all games, but whoever beat Negan at his favorite game was gonna pay, so it wasn't Negan's fault. 

So they play games, and during their last game, right before Uno, Negan spots Carl's scar on his right wrist, but then, since Carl was stretching, he saw another one on Carl's left wrist, in the relatively same spot. 'What…?' Negan thinks, confused. Then they move on to Uno, and Negan focuses on the game. 

"Dammit!" Negan curses as Carl beats him. It was a long game, one bordering on an hour already, and Carl had _beaten **him**_.

* 

"Ha!" Carl smirks. He hopes it irritates Negan, and whadda ya know, it does. Negan growls at Carl, anger and frustration evident in his voice. "Sorry, but I'm really good at Uno." Carl brags, mostly joking. Sure, he was really good at Uno, but he wanted Negan to be happy, too. Carl freezes. 'Fuck. Where did that come from?' he thinks. Carl sighs and inwardly shakes his head. Carl relaxes and he thinks 'Well, maybe I can trust Negan. Maybe even enough to tell him… more like to confirm, that yes I am an Omega…' 

"So," Negan says, obviously trying to be casual, but failing very, so horribly miserably. "You think you can beat me at my favorite game? Try again, friend of mine." Carl sorta brightens on the inside at those words. Carl sticks his tongue out, and Carl hears Negan growl again. Lower, as if he was trying to hide it from Carl. Come to think of it, Carl _could_ hear a different tone to the growl. Carl puts it on his mental list to puzzle it over later. Carl shakes his head and gives Negan a teasing smile. 

"No, I have every right to beat you at _my_ favorite game." Carl argues back indifferently. Negan's eyes widen and he gives Carl an appraising look, as if congratulating Carl for finding something that they had in common. Carl couldn't help but vibrate happily at this look. God, he was like a puppy to it's very commanding master, and even though he got kicked, he still loved every praise, hung on to every word. Is that what he was? A puppy? To Negan, or even to himself? Carl feels a sudden pang and he takes a deep shuddering breath. "Let's play another game." Carl suggests. No. Says. As a statement. Not a question. Negan shrugs and gives Carl a "why not" face. Carl returns it with a grin, even though it felt a little forced. Only a little. Carl didn't even feel that bad about being a puppy. The problom was, he didn't _want_ to get attached like a puppy would with it's master. Not that Carl had any choice in the matter. Omegas will be Omegas. 

"All right then, kid. Why not." Negan shuffles the deck and hums as he gives them both cards. Carl watches him with apt attention. 'Be wary…' Carl's brain faintly warns. Carl shoves it away and locks it up in a cement block in his head. 'Relax.' he thinks. Then it totally went wrong. The being wary part of him apparently got out, right after Carl reached across the table, and his sleeve got caught on the chair next to him, and it got yanked up. Carl's eyes widen and he jumps at a sudden screaming thought in his head. _'I told you so!'_ it yells at him. Carl glances down at his arm, hoping… but no. It was yanked up enough that Negan would have probably seem Carl's scar right above… well, on his upper arm. But maybe… nope. Luck hates Carl. Negan had obviously seen it, for he was staring at Carl intently, probably trying to figure Carl out. Carl yanks it back down and looks away. "So… who goes first?" when Carl first hears Negan's voice say it, he almost laughs. Wow. What an awesome thing to do. Seriously. No sarcasm in Carl's tone. He meant it. 

"You dealt, I will." Carl answers, looking back up and keeping on a brave face. Really, he wanted to curl up in his warm nest wheere he could cry or read or anything he wanted. Carl stays on guard for the next games they play, and Negan realizes it's late, and tells Carl with wide eyes. Carl smiles, but it was a tense smile. Negan watches Carl intently again, searching his eye for anything that he missed. 

"How was your day?" Negan asks softly, and sits on the couch, patting the spot next to him. Carl bites his lip and wishes… he wishes he could go over there and snuggle right up next to Negan. Negan had such a nice smell. Clean… perfect. Alpha-ish. Carl nods and sits next to Negan, but further away. Carl opens his mouth and contemplates whether he wanted to answer that question or not. Negan waits quietly, not fidgeting or anything. 

"It was pretty good." Carl admits. 'Besides for the fact that you saw one of my most hidden secrets.' Carl adds bitterly in his head. Negan smiles gently and… was Carl imagining it, or did Negan scoot a little bit closer to Carl. "How was yours?" Carl asks back. He also wishes to add "I'm sorry I ruined it." Negan's eyes brighten just the tighniest bit. 

"Pretty damn good!" Negan replies truthfully. Then he adds something under his breath that Carl hears as; "Better with you around than not." Carl's eye widens and he blushes slightly. He looks back at Negan's face after he realized that he was looking at Negan's hands. Negan's face looked a little flustered, and Carl guesses that he meant to say that in his head. Carl shakes himself and tells himself that Negan probably meant someone else. "How are you?" Negan asks next. Carl wasn't sure if he hears a little fear in his voice, but it could've been some other emotion. Carl smiles. 

"Fine. Tired." Carl confesses. Negan JUMPS UP IMMEDIATELY(????!!!!!??) and PUTS OUT HIS HAND FOR CARL TO TAKE!(!?!?!?!?!?????!!!!?!?) Carl takes it and Negan looks down at their hands. Carl loves how Negan's hands feel in his. Rough, perfect. Completely fine by Carl. 

"You can sleep in the guest room." Negan offers. Carl nods, and flinches as Negan pulls away like Carl had burned him. 

Carl sighs as he snuggles into the bed. So soft… confortable… Oh, Judy. Little Judy Bear. Carl wonders if she misses him. Does she even care that he's gone? 

Carl drifts off to sleep with these questions dancing in his head and falls into a horrible nightmare.


	3. "You Are Who You Are. Nothing Can Change That."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan can't sleep, so he goes into the guest room and talks to a very deep sleeping Carl. In the morning Negan makes breakfast and waits for Carl to wake up. While he waits, he draws what he saw on Carl's wrists and arm.
> 
> Carl wakes up to the smell of breakfast. He and Negan eat, and Carl doesn't eat much. Negan and him talk, then Negan leaves suddenly. Carl goes outside and runs into Dwight. Dwight offers to let Carl meet his wife/mate, Sherry. Carl agrees. The three (Carl, Dwight and Sherry) talk. Dwight gets a call from Negan and goes outside to talk to him. Carl and Sherry drift over to the closet. They talk more. Carl sees something and confesses something to Sherry. Sherry is super supportive about it. They talk more.
> 
> Negan and Dwight talk. Dwight tells Negan that Carl was at his house talking to Sherry, and Negan doesn't care. After they were done, Negan tries to keep himself busy. Soon enough he goes to a meadow inside his territory. He lies down there and wonders if Carl has a favorite flower, and which one.
> 
> (Continued in a note.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Continued from the Summary.)
> 
> Carl hears Dwight come back in. Sherry asks if Carl wants to go shopping together some day, and Carl agrees. Carl goes back to Negan's house, and when he gets there, he discovers that Negan smells like flowers. Carl wonders if Negan had a mate or something. They eat lunch and Carl doesn't eat much again. Carl starts missing his nest after they eat. Then he starts thinking about how Lori and Rick found out that he was an Omega. Carl starts getting agitated and paces.
> 
> Negan notices Carl's pacing with impatience and agitation and suggests that they play icebreaker. Carl agrees. They play, and then Negan mentions a park that was in the half of the city that would have been in The Saviors' territory if there wasn't the city in the way. Carl admits that he hadn't been even near the part of the city that would have been in The Saviors' territory. Negan convinces Carl to go to the park.

~ 

Negan blinks in the darkness, sitting up suddenly. He couldn't sleep. Why? It's not like he couldn't before, although he did have trouble. He scowls and gets up. He paces from one side of his room to the other, and back. 

"This is stupid." he whispers. "Why? Why now?" he tries to relax, but finds himself walking out of his room. He stops outside of the guest room. "Nooo…" Negan hisses. "Absolutely… ah, to hell with it." he walks slowly towards Carl, who was obviously sleeping. "I'm sorry," Negan says softly to him. "I didn't… don't mean to be a creep, though I think I am now, watching you sleep. But hey, as long as one of us are sleeping." Carl mumbles and stirs, turning towards Negan. Negan stiffens. No. Carl wasn't awake. He was still sleeping. "Oh thank fuck." 

Negan sits down at the chair that was right next to the bed. He almost reaches out to brush Carl's hair out of his face, but stops himself. He internally scolds himself for even thinking about it. 'But,' his brain argues. 'I didn't even think about it. I did it without thinking. It seems natural.' and that just made him feel worse. 

"I am such a creep, aren't I?" Negan laughs lightly. "Such a creep…" suddenly, Negan has the feeling that he had before. 

'Take care of him! Hold him! Comfort him! _Love. Him._ ' Negan banishes these thoughts for the second time out of his head.

"You know, maybe… maybe… wait a second! What the fuck!" Negan scowls. "I did not permit you to say that!" he sighs. "Sorry. I'll be quiet." he reaches his hand out again, and hesitates before touching Carl's hand. He freezes as Carl stirs, mumbling something. "Sorry, sorry sorry." Negan winces. Carl shifts and says the thing again. 

"Please." Carl says. Negan stares wide-eyed at Carl. But Carl didn't do anything else. "Please… _please_." Carl whines, curling up. Negan leans towards him cautiously, but worried. "I don't… wear… that…" Carl whispers softly. "I don't. I wouldn't." Negan growls quietly, trying to find some way he could help Carl. "I miss it… I want it… I need it… don't take me away…" finally, Negan stands up quickly and moves his hand to Carl's face, stroking his hair. 

"Shh…" Negan whispers to Carl. "Shh…" he waits until Carl was soundly asleep again, before removing his hand. "God… you've officially tired me out. Maybe now I can sleep." Negan mumbles. He lowers his head and walks slowly back to his room. When he makes it, he falls asleep almost as soon as he lies down. 

The next morning, when Negan wakes up, he gets up immediately, in a very productive mood. He walks into the kitchen, whistling. He ignores his worries about the last night, and instead occupies himself by making breakfast. He keeps humming to himself. After he made breakfast, he waits for Carl to get up. While he waits, he draws. I know, it's shocking, but he does. 

He draws what he had seen on Carl's wrists and upper arm. "A leaf… a horseshoe, I think, and… it looked almost like the leaf, but I think it's a feather." he murmurs. "Are they just drawings? I don't think so, by the way he yanked his sleeve back down so quickly." Negan sighs. 

*

'Oh my god… breakfast…' Carl wakes up to the smell of something _delicious_. His stomach growls loudly, and he grimaces. 'No. Don't _indulge._ Just _eat._ ' He sits up and yawns, rubbing his eye. 

When he stands up, he wobbles a little. "Oof." he grumbles. "Damn. I need more food…" he sniffs and pauses. "Negan?" he wonders. Why was this soom smelling quite strongly of Negan? "Because he lives here, duh, idiot." Carl rolls his eye at himself. He walks quickly out of the guest room, blushing and running his hand through his messy hair. 

"Good morning!" Negan exclaims when he looks up from something. Looks like he's drawing. "How'd you sleep?" Carl scowls. Right. He forgot he was in a house with a person who's, in fact, a morning person, unlike his house. Rick wasn't, Michonne wasn't, and Judith was, but she always let Carl sleep. But hey, at least Negan let Carl sleep, but Judith was always bringing her sunshiney self outside with other morning person wolves. Then Rick and/or Michonne would wake up, and then they'd be quiet for a while, completely waking up, _then_ Carl wakes up, he eats a small breakfast and moves on, rushing to go outside with little Judy Bear. Oh, Judy Bear. She always complained when he called her that. She would say, "I'm a wolf, not a bear! Why do you call me that?" and Carl would answer, "Because I love you, my sweet Judy Bear." and then she would either cuddle up next to him or beam up at him, either way was quiet rewarding in Carl's eye. 

"Fine," Carl answers, sounding sharper then he intended. Negan grins and guestures for Carl to sit. 

"Well, sit, will ya'? Oh, and I slept good too, thanks." Negan jokes, making a playful face at Carl. Carl raises an eyebrow at him. Why was he acting like Carl has always been here for weeks, months, maybe even years? Maybe he's always like this. Carl sits and closes his eye, wishing for coffee. He rarely ever drinks coffee, but normally, like he was thinking before, it's quiet, and he wakes up completely in silence while he's eating. Then he's greeted with Judith's beautiful face, and that always cheers him up. "And breakfast is served." Negan makes a flourishing guesture, setting a plate with food on it in front of Carl. Carl sighs. Why was he acting so happy to make food for Carl? Ugh, everything is so confusing here.

"Thanks." Carl huffs. He normally likes the moving around, silently thinking of getting breakfast for himself, but… argh. He eats a mouthful, lost in thought. "How did you really sleep?" he finally asks, looking up. Mostly he was just trying to not eat without getting Negan's attention. Negan shrugs. 

"Fine. Ish. It's fine. Just… yeah. Whatever." Carl squints at him. 

"Seriously? Be more clear, god." he sighs again. Negan crosses his arms, looking disappointed. 

"Carl, kid, keep your damn un-morning personness to yourself. I'm trying to enjoy the morning, you. You are such a damn mood-killer, aren't ya'?" Carl glares at him from under his hair, pretending that his food is his retort, chewing it and swallowing it down. That's normally how he keeps himself from snapping back. Negan sits down across from Carl. "So! What do ya' wanna do today?" Carl blinks, taken by surprise. 

"I don't give a shit." Carl replies. Negan sighs, shaking his head. 

"Kid, really? Oh, how about we can play more games? That would be fun… I normally play with Dwight, but y'know, that guy has one tactic each game, so I normally beat him. You'll be new, so hopefully I have more competition." Carl finally grins, putting down his fork and looking completely up at Negan. 

"The only problem with that is the point that you'll lose," he teases, giving Negan a teasing smirk. Negan smirks back at him. 

"Now I'm pretty sure you're a competitive person. Because you lit up when I mentioned competition, and playing games." Negan pauses, pretending to think about it. "Actually, I think you're wrong. I think _I'll_ win." Carl snorts and rolls his eye again. 

"Yeah, right. Although I do agree with the competitive person theory. I am that." Negan makes a funny face at Carl, and he laughs a little. "God. What is it with you?" 

"Whatever do you mean?" Negan asks, faking not knowing. "I just am a really bright person! Well, actually, don't get on my bad side." he becomes entirely serious. Carl leans forward, intrigued. 

"So, you always start people on your good side?" he asks curiously. Negan shakes his head. 

"Nah, normally they're inbetween." he seems to realize what he just said, and he quits talking, blinking rapidly. "Should not have said that…" he mutters. Carl takes a deep breath and tries to play it off. 

"Alright, Hagrid. Glad I could get on your good side by not doing anything. Actually, I'm not surprised. I am a naturally awesome person." Carl preens, smiling self-assuredly. Negan chuckles. 

"Actually, I really thought I would be the first one of us to say that. One-Eyed Moody." Negan snips back. Carl's mouth drops open, surprised that Negan knew who to call him. 

"Goood." Carl admits. Negan smirks. 

"So! We're gonna play games? We could also watch movies? _Harry Potter, namely_?" Negan suggests. Carl leans back and claps. 

"Yes! Oh my god, so yes! Games! Movies! Harry Potter! Any other movie! Well, depends." Negan smiles, relaxing. Then he frowns and takes out his phone. He scowls. 

"Well, fuck. Oh, well. I gotta go right now. Sorry." Carl frowns. "You can go wherever you want. Just _come back._ I will be watching." Negan gets up and walks backwards, keeping his eyes on Carl's, until he runs into the wall. "Ow. Oops. Oh well, seeya, kid." Carl waves, smiling sadly. 

As soon as Negan leaves, Carl shakes his head clear of Negan's influence and throws the rest of his food away, making a face. Why was he doing this again? More like _what_ was he doing?

Carl walks outside, breathing in the fresh air, trying to get away from Negan's scent. Which was way too overpowering, in Carl's mind. He sits on the porch, and waves as Dwight starts walking by, but doubles back and starts walking up to Carl. 

"Hey, Carl," Dwight greets, frowning. "Did Negan leave again?" Carl nods. "Oh…" A pause. "Wanna go to my house and meet Sherry?" Carl nods again, relieved. 

He follows Dwight, happy to be going somewhere else. When they make it to Dwight's house, and Carl walks awkwardly in the front door, a new smell hits him. Feminine. Probably Sherry's. It was mixed with Dwight's, so yeah. 

"Oh, hello! You must be Carl? I haven't seen you around, and I know most people around here, so you must be." a woman greets Carl with a smile. Carl nods, unable to help smiling back. Oh great, another amazingly sunshiney infectious woman in his life. Probably as a friend, just as the others are. Well, minus Enid. "Well, nice to meet you. I'm Sherry. Of course, you probably already know that." Carl freezes as Sherry steps forward for a hug. When she releases him, Carl relaxes, and she flashes him another smile. "Sorry. I just heard good things about you. Although, you smell a lot like Negan. You… wait, yeah." she turns to Dwight. "You told me that he was staying with Negan, right?" Dwight nods. 

"Yeah," Dwight then steps closer to Carl and whispers loudly to him, "Don't mind her. She speaks a lot anyway." Sherry gasps indignantly and swats his arm, shooting him a loving look. 

"Don't mind him, either. He has his own spots where he talks on and on." Carl grins at their playful banter, loving it, and becoming jealous of it all at the same time. 

"Huh. Well, please don't mind my silence to most things. Some things I talk about, too, but not that much." Carl says, finally speaking. Sherry smiles at him and beckons him to sit on the couch. He sits down, and Dwight sits on Sherry's other side. 

"So! How are you liking it here so far?" Sherry asks, tilting her head, letting her shoulder-length caramel brown hair spill over he shoulder, but then tucking it behind her ear. Carl watches her do this, loving the naturality of it, and then snaps back to attention. 

"Uh… the house, or the neighborhood?" Carl jokes. Sherry laughs, leaning over, waving her hands around. 

"The neighborhood, but how's the house, too?" she jokes back, recovering with a couple more giggles. Carl smiles kindly at her. 

"Good. I like your house. It's… beautiful." Carl answers truthfully, shrugging. "What do _you_ think of the house?" Dwight shakes his head behind Sherry. 

"Well, it wasn't ideal, but hey, we've settled into it, and it's beautiful enough. Besides, I would never trade it even if I could for free. The view out of the backyard is so beautiful." Sherry turns her head towards the side, as if she can already see it from the couch. 

A ringing interrupts the silence, and Dwight stands up. "Sorry." he apologizes, checking it. "It's Negan. Just a couple minutes." Sherry smiles and waves him off. Then she turns fully towards Carl, delving back into conversation. 

"Can I show you something? You probably won't be interested, but I'd like to try my luck." Sherry asks. Carl nods. She claps and stand up. "C'mon then." he follows her to a bedroom, but then she motions for him to sit on the bed, and opens the closet. He makes an "ooh… aah…" sound, and she snorts. "Ha, ha. Dwight says I have too much clothes, so I'm getting rid of some. I need your opinion." Carl grins, happy to help. 

"Sure!" Sherry pulls out a dress. 

"Oh, no." she tosses it to the side. Carl grins. Then she pulls out another. "What do you think?" It's a normal, plain black dress, but it's very shiny and beautiful. 

"Keep!" Carl exclaims. '…But if not, can I have it?' he thinks, and winces. Sherry nods. 

"Yes. I quite like that one too." she pulls out a couple more, and they decide whether or not it's worthy enough to keep, or a meh. In one of them that she didn't use Carl's opinion, but was getting rid of, he finds a gorgeous purple and blue dress. Carl's mouth drops open, and he decides to tell Sherry one of his most kept to himself secrets. 

"Sherry?" he starts hesitantly, biting his lip. Sherry turns to him. "I… can I trust you with something?" she nods. 

"Yeah, sure. Why not." Carl nods. 

"Well, I have this thing where sometimes I find these 'girl' clothes, and I want them." he uses air quotes for "girl", because, truly he doesn't believe in genderified clothes. Sherry smiles softly and walks over, kneeling before him and placing a hand on his leg. 

"It's okay, honey." she says gently. "It doesn't matter." Carl frowns. She moves her hand from his leg to his hair. "You are who you are. Nothing can change that." Carl brightens. 

"Oh. Well… thanks! Well, I told you that because… I like that dress." he points to the purple and blue dress. Sherry grins, getting up and grabbing the dress. 

"Keep it!" she says. "I'm getting rid of it, after all." Carl bounces slightly. 

"Thanks! But… I don't want to wear it in front of Negan or anyone else…" he looks down. Sherry sighs, nodding knowingly. 

"I get ya'. But Negan won't care, promise. _But_ , you can try it on and wear it when you visit me and Dwight. Dwight doesn't care either." Carl relaxes. 

"Alright," he agrees, nodding for what seems like the millionth time today. 

~

Negan glares at his phone in his hand, frowning as the second ring ends, and the third one begins. 

"So, are you calling me just to check in, or are you bored again?" Dwight's voice cuts in, stopping the ringing. That _annoying_ ringing. 

"Alright, you caught me," Negan jokes, relaxing. "Both. Although, I'm not checking on you. Where's Carl? At this moment. It doesn't really matter. Just wanna know." he curses under his breath as his voice becomes less and less casual. He was worrying. Still is. Of course, there's no reason to. Carl seems like the person to take care of himself. But what if he isn't that strong? 

"Uh… here. At my house. He's talking to Sherry right now." Dwight answers cautiously. Negan breathes a sigh of relief. 

"Okay. That's fine. How are you?" 

"Goood… you?" Dwight's voice still sounds wary. 

"Fine, fine," Negan replies, shrugging. Even though Dwight can't see him anyway. "Perfectly okay. Annoyed. Damn phones are so loud." 

"Ha!" Dwight laughs. "Of course. You know, you can change the ringtone, right?" 

"I know," Negan sighs. "It's just so… time consuming." he's complaining now, but he ignores it. Dwight groans on the other side of the phone. 

"You are the most lazy w- person I've ever known," 

"Shhh!" Negan shushes him childishly. "Be quiet. Don't ruin everything." 

"You're acting weird," Dwight's voice sounds wary again. "You okay?" 

" _Fine_. I already told you that. Ugh. I better go. Back to boredom." 

"Wait!" Dwight protests. "But you don't have to-" 

"Bye, Dwighty-boy!" Negan sings, hanging up. 'Why?' he asks himself. 'Why am I acting so weirdly? Maybe I need fresh air…'

Ten minutes later, Negan was loping into the woods, in his wolf form, duh. The fastest way to travel. Alone. Would he ever _lope_ as a human anyway? 

He makes it to his favorite spot; a meadow. Now wasn't the best time to visit it, the flowers aren't completely in bloom. He lies down, smelling the flowers and the wind and squirrels and… everything. 

'Does Carl have a favorite flower?' he thinks, smelling a purple flower. 'If so, which one?' he settles his head on his paws (In human form, this would be so very uncomfortable.) and thinks. 

* 

Carl's head jerks up from his hands as Dwight comes back in, muttering about something. Carl and Sherry had went back to the couch and talked for a bit, but Sherry kept anxiously looking outside, and Carl had no idea what to talk about, so the conversation faded. 

"Hey," Dwight says, waving. He sits down on the couch next to Sherry. Sherry brightens. Carl waves back and stands up. 

"Thank you so, so much for letting me come over," Carl thanks both of them. Sherry grins and gets up too. She hugs him and nods. 

"Of course! Come again," she hesitates. "Will you… go shopping with me someday? I've been looking for a suitable partner lately, but… Dwight is not very interested." Carl laughs. 

"Sure," he agrees. Dwight looks indignantly up at Sherry. 

"I just don't want to walk around for hours whole you admire everything. Good luck, kid." 

Carl winces inwardly, remembering when Negan calls him that. _Kid._ Why does Negan bother him so much? Carl nods and goes outside, setting off back to Negan's house.

"Welcome back, Carl," Negan says once Carl walks in. "And how was your day?" 

"Good, thanks," Carl replies tiredly. "I met Sherry. She's nice." Negan nods animatedly. 

"She sure fucking is," Is Carl imagining it, or is Negan's voice loud? Or, at least, louder than normal? " _Anyway_ , wanna eat? 'Cause I am really fucking starving. You?" Carl shrinks into himself and eyes Negan suspiciously. He's also swearing with a lot of force. 'Is he okay?' floats around Carl's head.

"Yeah, I could eat," Carl smiles cautiously at Negan. Negan smiles widely back and swings around, sort of _stomping?_ To the kitchen. Carl tentatively follows him. He sits on one of the chairs while Negan makes sandwiches, occasionally swearing. For what reason, Carl has no idea. He just mumbles them. Maybe they're in his thoughts? 

"Here," Negan says, giving Carl one of the sandwiches, then settling down to eat his. Carl eats all of it, smiling proudly to himself. Suddenly, a smell drifts past Carl's nose. And not the sandwich. Flowers. Floral scents. Does Negan have a girlfriend or something? Not that Carl knows of, but he hasn't spent much time with him. 

"Thanks for the sandwich. Really," Carl murmurs. Negan nods. 

Carl gets up and goes to the living room. He dives into his thoughts to relax. 'I miss my nest,' pops up. It startles him. He had barely thought of it while he was here. For some reason. Now it becomes all he can think about. 

His nest is in his closet, back home. It's so beautiful… homey, more like. It doesn't really need to be fancy. It's Carl's. Just Carl's. 'I miss home,' is the thought that comes next. 'I remember when… when Mom and Dad found out…' 

His first stuffed animal, Sheila, was how his parents had known he was an Omega. Carl had loved that stuffed animal. Still does. Always will. And then… then that damn _kid_ took it from him. And returned it all nicely. All guiltily. Guiltily because he had torn her head _mostly off._

Lori had sewn it back on, again and again. Over and over. But then she had to throw her away, when it became too much. Carl has mourned the whole week. He was extremely dramatic back then, so he had only worn really dark clothing throughout the whole week. Now it seems stupid, but back then it made sense. 

Carl starts pacing, growling quietly to himself. His remaining eye twitches every couple of seconds. He was so occupied with his thoughts, that he hadn't noticed Negan sitting down on the couch, and now, when Negan clears his throat, he jumps. 

~ 

'Damn that kid has got some energy,' Negan thinks, watching Carl pace back and forth. When he decides that he doesn't want holes worn into his carpet, Negan clears his throat. Carl swings around to face him with a low growl. Negan holds his hands up defensively. 

"Sorry, sorry. I was just wondering… d'ya wanna play icebreaker with me?" he raises an eyebrow. 'And maybe that'll cool you the fuck down.' Carl relaxes at that and smiles an adorable half-smile. 

"Sure. Sorry about growling at you. I don't know why I did it." Carl looks shyly down, and Negan's heart jumps. 'Why does he have to be so damn _cute_?' Negan thinks crossly.

"Okay. I like… your hair," Negan starts, grinning. Carl blushes and smiles back. Another half-smile. 

"I like your leather. It's super cool." he replies. Negan smirks at that. 'Yes, isn't it?' he thinks. 

"I like your eye. Now that is super cool," he means the missing one, but whichever one Carl thinks it is is fine with him. "Aren't you gonna sit?" Negan asks. Carl sits. 

"I like your house. It's really beautiful," Carl murmurs. For some reason, his voice just keeps getting quieter, and he keeps acting cuter and cuter. Why? It's very tempting. 

'He likes my things. I'm glad he likes my things.' Negan thinks msugly. His ego swells to the size of two balloons, and he puffs out his chest proudly. For a reason he has no idea about. 

"I like your face." Now that's true. So, so true. His face is beautiful. Carl blushes even more at that, and Negan smiles. 

"I like your smile." Negan's smile turns into a grin at that. Negan shakes his head, escaping his proud thoughts, and changes the subject. 

"Y'know, there's a beautiful park nearby. It's so gorgeous. I go there whenever possible, because it's really relaxing. I think you may need relaxingg." Negan comments. Carl laughs. Giggles. Light-headedness fills Negan's, well, head, and he takes a deep breath. 

"I've never gone anywhere near where your territory would be if the damn city wasn't in the way. I'm sure it's beautiful. I wish I could see it." Carl shrugs. 

"Seriously? Okay, you're going to it with me God, you can't surprise me like that! C'mon, we're going." Negan stands up. It'll also do him good, because it'll clear his head from Carl's _toxins._

Yeah, they'll be going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the note continuing the Summary guys! In fact, it's probably gonna happen again. Anyway,I hope you liked the chapter. Sooooo long. Chapters the size of Godzilla! WOO! AWESOME! MORE FANFIC TO WRITE!!
> 
> Yeah. Thanks for reading! Please comment, they make me so happy.
> 
> Also! Next chapter I'm gonna make a shorter summary. Darn, the chapters are so long I need ta tone it down!


	4. Do You Really Want To Know What's Beautiful?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl and Negan go to the park, and yeah, there's a lot more than that in here, but I think the park is a pretty highlighted part maybe.
> 
> So they go to the park. Other stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> One of those intense nightmares that were promised.

* 

"Woah…" Carl gasps, looking around. Trees… birds… so much more birds… squirrels… so much more squirrels… bushes… are there anything more than birds and squirrels? 

"Yeah, there is more than just birds and squirrels, it just doesn't seem like it," Negan chuckles. Carl blushes, realizing he had just said his thought out loud. "So you like it?" 

"Absolutely," Carl nods. Negan grins. He takes Carl's hands and tugs him over to a bench nearby, just far enough back to take it all in while sitting. Negan sits him down gently, then sits down next to him. Carl is just still in awe.

Carl glances over at Negan shyly with a small smile. Luckily, Negan is still looking out at the park, but still, Carl curses himself inwardly for looking weak. 'I hate being an Omega.' he thinks angrily. ' Absolutely hate it. You can do better, Earth! I hate weakness. I hate Alphas. I hate Negan for being an attractive one. I hate having myself try to… _cozy up_ to him. Ew! Oh, god I hate - wait… oh my god! Ice cream!' Carl's ranting thoughts are inturrupted by him spotting an ice cream place across the road. He chews his lip as his stomach growls. The sandwich was definitely not enough. 

"It's beautiful," Carl whispers, meaning the park. Negan looks at him finally with a half-smile. All crooked and handsome… 'Shush, head!' Carl scolds himself. 

"It is," Negan agrees. But then he hesitates. "But…" Carl waits, interested. "Do you really want to know what's beautiful?" Carl nods, eye wide. Negan's eyes dart around for a second before landing on something across the street, technically behind them. Oh, look, ice cream. Wanna get some?" 

"Uh… okay, sure," Carl answers, confused. Did Negan just evade him? Now he's even more interested. Bad call, Negan. 

"Oooh, yummy," Carl moans once they get their ice cream. Negan laughs. A little too loudly for Carl's tastes. Speaking of tastes… he digs back into his ice cream. Suddenly, it hits him. Why Negan laughs too loud, speaks too loud, or swears too harshly. And stomps. He's either scared, or nervous. Perhaps both. Both would make more sense. But why would he be scared or nervous back at his house? That's really confusing. Ugh. Ugh. _Ugh._ Really, Negan's just the confusing one.

"What's your favorite ice cream flavor?" Negan asks after taking a bite of his own ice cream. Carl thinks for a second, tilting his head. 

"Mmm… I don't really eat ice cream. Just yogurt and a shit-ton of pudding," Someone a couple of tables away turns to look at the pair. Carl waits until their back is turned before sticking his tongue out at them. 

~ 

"Ha! You love pudding, huh?" Negan asks, grinning. "Well, I could-" he cuts himself off. Thankfully, Carl wasn't paying attention, too busy sticking his tongue out at some innocent - _seemingly_ innocent - person. He was about to say "Well, I could buy you as much pudding as you want", but stopped himself because what the hell, Negan?

On the way back to his house, feeling pleased that Carl ate all of his ice cream, a sudden snap decision pops into Negan's head. 

'I should take him home,' 

Even though Negan starts fighting that in his head, his body automatically turns and he starts taking Carl home. Why does he know where the enemy's house is? No idea. 'No. No. No. Keep him.' Negan thinks over and over again. It finally stops once Carl is just outside his neighborhood, and from then on, silence ensues. 

"Carl?" he hears someone say. He looks up. He hadn't even known he was looking down, anyway. 

"Dad!" Carl breaks contact with Negan and runs into the arms of Rick. _Prick._ Daddy. _Grimes._

A growl - luckily, a lower toned one, even though that doesn't really help in silence because of the vibrations - rips its way through Negan's throat. He startles Carl, and Rick, who just looks more pissed with his fucking pinched up face as it is. Carl gives him a pleading "Stay calm, for me" look. Immediately, Negan calms down. 

"Negan," Rick greets, nodding and crossing his arms. Negan mirrors his pose, but instead leans forward, in the direction of him and… Carl. 

"Prick," he answers in the exact same tone. Carl laughs, a high-pitched worried sound. 

"Daddy, I'm fine," he squeaks. Daddy? That word catches Negan's attention, and Carl blushes a deep red as he realizes that both Negan and Prick are staring at him. "Did not mean to say that." he mutters quietly. Negan snorts. Oh, little sweet awkward Carl. It's just a little _feud_. At the last word, Negan moves his eyes back up to Prick's. They glare at each other, messages passing between them in the silence. 

"Go," Rick's eyes say. Negan glares harder. 

"Tell me Carl will be fine," Negan says back with his own eyes, making them flick towwards Carl at the mention of the teenager's name. It surprises Rick for a second. 

"Fine. Go." 

"Fine."

Negan stalks away, keeping himself from looking back like a pathetically lost puppy at Carl, who, in this scenario, would be the master. 

"Why?" he questions himself when he gets back home, plopping on the couch. "Why? Dwight can't be right." he chuckles at the stupid rhyme. "He could." a different part of him reasons. "Why am I speaking out loud? Oh, right, because I'm crazy, so you, little voice, are wrong, because I'm crazy." 

A whole, achingly slow hour passes, and Negan spends most of it sitting and speaking his thoughts out loud. 

A knock at his door sounds, and Negan's heart jumps. For some reason, a part of him wants to believe that it's Carl. "I _am_ pathetic," he groans, getting up. No. The knock was too… timid and light to be Carl. Right?

"What the fuck you want?" Negan snaps, opening the door. His eyes widen, and he freezes. "Dammit. Sorry, Sherry, come in." Sherry, who had her eyebrows raised, nods and comes in. 

"Negan, I saw you and Carl leave, but you came back without him," she starts. Negan nods briskly. "Why? Why did you let your- um, why did you let him go home?" 

Negan sighs. "He needed to go home," he responds tiredly. She frowns. 

"Are you okay? You're acting weird," Something other than worry was edging it's way through her tone. Something… knowing. 

"I'm fine," Negan groans. That definitely doesn't sound too convincing. But Sherry knows not to question him. 

"So, do you know where Carl normally goes?" she asks, changing the subject. Negan shrugs. 

"He apparently normally goes in the half of the city that would be Alexandria's. Which is stupid, considering-" "-That the city in free land for any wolf." she finishes. "Thanks." as she turns to leave, Negan starts questioning her motives. 

"Why are you asking?" She shrugs this time. 

"I have something to give him. And we have plans." she finally turns and leaves. 

Negan sits back down on his couch, scowling. "What does she know?" something in the back of his mind finally shows itself and smacks Negan across the face. Well, not literally, but close enough. 'Obviously you two _have_ to be mates!' 

Oh, no no. 

*

"Enid!" Carl exclaims, seeing his friend. She turns around, surprised. A smile spreads across her face. 

"Carl! Where the hell were you? Wait…" she jogs over, and when she gets over to him, she leans into his shoulder and sniffs deeply. "Ack." she gags. "Saviors. Just your luck." 

"Mhm…" Carl smiles, thinking about Negan. And how well it wrked when Carl had sent him a pleading look when he was angry. Weird. Mostly, how that works is Omegas can only do that for their Alpha. Huh. Maybe that's a lie. "You know, I missed you." he states, returning to the present. 

"As I missed you," she responds, hugging him softly. "Have any trouble over there?" 

If she was expecting a yes, she has other things coming. "No," Carl answers truthfully, shrugging. She pulls away from him, confused. 

"Well, go. And next time you talk to me, you'd better have showered." Carl laughs and nods. 

"Your wish is my command, Mistress." She huffs and shoos him away. 

Sophia catches his eye - literally. Well, not literally, literally, as in he only has one eye anyway - and, she waves him over. 

"Heya Carl…a…?" she trails off, frowning. He rhyme had definitely turned into something awkward quickly. 

"All I got is 'harl, Carl'," Carl jokes. Sophia's face breaks out into a one hundred megawatt grin. "Okay, okay, turn it down, god." Carl teases. She pretends to slump and be sad. 

"Okay, so how was your stay? Did good things happen?" she nudges his elnow. "I think one of them were touching you directly not long ago, from the way you absolutely _stink._ " she grins again, but the insult - not to him, to the Saviors - is still there.

"Well, I'm gonna take a shower. Because apparently I stink." Carl walks around Sophia, and into his house. 

"Carl?" a strong, yet sad voice says. Carl looks in the direction of the voice. 

"Judy Bear," he gasps, dropping onto his knees, where Judith is. It's the spot she always waited for him in. "Because I like watching someone getting on their knees," she had said.

"Carl!" she wraps her arms around his neck and just holds him in place. 

"Damn, you've got some strength there," Carl huffs, trying to make her ease up. She giggles. Carl gets reminded of something he'd read when he was scouring about twenty books - at least - about the facts of weird things that you say that are normal, but roll off your tongue weird. Like calling wolves "wolves" in human form. And children "pups" in human form. And then opposite, because it apparently works both ways. It's really interesting. 

Sadly, even though he scoured a lot of books, he skipped everything else in his rush to find answers. What a dumbass. It would've been nice to learn about Betas (They're actually really boring. They're almost like normal.), Alphas (More interesting.), and Omegas (Sooo much more interesting. But not because Carl is one.). And also how Alphas with their Omegas or Omegas with their Alphas work (More interesting than the three types combined!). But Carl hadn't read any of it. And now either the books were gone, or he doesn't have time.

'What was it…?' Carl thinks, trying to remember what it was that he was forgetting. 'Something about strength, that I know.'

"Well, you can go to your room now!" Judith finally says, letting Carl go completely. 

"Thanks, Judy Bear," Carl stands up. 

"Why? I'm a wolf, not a bear," she pouts at the nickname. 

"Because I love you, my sweet Judy Bear," Carl and Judith say at the same time. Carl smiles at her. "I love you." 

"I love you too, now go," she giggles and pushes him, standing up too. 

"Bye!" Carl escapes to his room, sighing when his back hits the door. He slides down it, smelling the familiar scent of his room. He gets back up and sits on his bed, bouncing on it for a second before frowning. Instead, he goes over to his closet and opens the door. Grinning, he collapses into his nest, sighing again. "This is great…" he murmurs, burrowing into the soft fabric - piles of blankets and a pillow, the pillow of which he normally puts underneath all of the blankets for when he can't sleep and instead sleeps in his nest - "I missed this. So, so much. Now everything's complete." 'Except one thing' he thinks suddenly. 'Yeah, Sheila, I know.' he snorts. 'God, I miss Sheila…' 

'Not Sheila,' 

Confused, and trying something, he takes out the knife he had stolen from Negan. It still smells faintly of Negan. Putting it next to his nose and settling back down, he closes his eye. 

_Knock, knock,_

"Ugh… just a second," he mutters, quickly tucking the knife under the blankets, right next to the pillow. "Okay, come in." 

The door opens, and it's Michonne and Rick. Michonne crouches next to him - having not seen him yet - and tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. When she wants to be, Michonne is a softie. But the movement reminds Carl of something… a nightmare… last night. He was soothed by the same feeling. And a rough, oh-my-god-so-hot voice, going "Shhh". Maybe he was imagining it then. His brain and body teaming up to like Negan so much, that he inserted it in his dream. He _can_ lucid dream, so it's not out of the possiblilities. 

"Carl," Michonne greets him. Rick smiles and waves behind her shoulder. "Are you okay? Ugh, smells like-" 

"Like shit?" Carl offers. Michonne laughs, and nods, but then shakes her head. 

"No. Smells like direct contact," she sighs and frowns. "Anyway, hey, at least while you were gone, we were able to clean your closet, even though you were supposed to clean it yourself." 

"Ha ha!" Carl exclaims, grinning. 

They talk for a while, and when they finally leave, Carl relaxes. Only to stiffen again as Judith comes over. But he quickly relaxes afterward as she slips into his nest. He puts a blanket over them both, and she cuddles up to his chest. 

"I really, really, really missed you," she murmurs. "I mean, so much it hurt. And I know you find it hard to sleep away from us." It's true. Carl usually has nightmares when sleeping away from home. Nightmares about stupid stuff. 

Which brings back the memory of last night's dream.

Carl had been standing on some sort of pedestal thing. It was weird. But he couldn't move by himself. This weird-ass looking dude… well, he was holding a knife, the one Carl had stolen from Negan. But the weid-ass looking dude was wearing some sort of bag over his head. Anyway, the dude made Carl try on… clothes. And they were uuuuugly. But they were girl clothes. Like, some weird polka-dotted skirt, and a neon pink shirt (ugh) for example. But every time Carl did anything against the rules, the dude would step closer and cut a line on his right side, the one missing an eye, from his hairline to his chin. Soon enough, that half of Carl's face was covered in blood. And then the person took off the bag. 

The person was Dwight. 

But Dwight had an ugly… burn scar? It was on one side of his face, and it made that side look frozen in a horrible expression, the skin… shriveled? Probably not. Yet, wrinkled doesn't sound quite right either. _Oddly scarred._

As as Dwight made him try on yet another pair of clothes, Carl started crying out "Please… please…" and that shit. At around the end he said "I don't… wear that shit…" except when he said "wear" and "shit", his voice faltered. 

That's when Negan showed up. Carl remembers that part clearly. 

_Carl gasped as Negan appeared right next to him, in his leather jacket and boots, with a white shirt on under the jacket. Except there were some odd things about this image. He had an oddly evil smirk on, and when Carl looked down, her saw blood on his shirt. Carl had tried to scream, but then Dwight was there, cutting another line down his face. This time, Dwight hit the scar tissue that was already there from Carl's missing eye… wound. Negan tsks, and Carl looks back over to him. He was also holding a baseball bat? It had barb-wire wrapped around it, and more blood._

_"Shhh," Negan had said calmly, sweetly. Carl calmed down, but kept trying to scream. He felt like invisible chains were tied to his hands and legs. "You're okay." A very real feeling of someone brushing hair away from his face happened, and Carl noticed Negan doing it. Carl had smiled then, and suddenly, Carl could see his own face in Negan's eyes. His reflection was bloody and disgusting; he had long jagged cuts criss-crossed across the one half that Dwight was targeting. Negan moved the hair that was sticking to his face because of the blood away, and when he withdrew his hand, Carl saw blood on it._

_Negan had also smiled then, a perfectly beautiful smile, showing teeth. Then he leaned forward. And kissed Carl. It had no feeling. But Carl knew it was good by the way he gasped against Negan's mouth. When Negan pulled away, there was some red on the corner of his mouth. Carl giggled._

Then he woke up. With a throbbing all around his eye socket. He had touched his mouth, and fallen back asleep, with no dreams that he can remember. But that one dream was vivid. So bright. Seemed so real. He had really wanted to kiss Negan after that. 

Words snap Carl out of his reverie. "Carl, they think I'm an Omega too," 

"What?" he snaps. Judith flinches. He calms himself down. 

"Mom and Dad were talking… I overheard them. They wanna test me for it." Carl stays silent. "I might be." At this point, Carl hears a strange high-pitched sound, coming in gasps. "Carl… Carl, you're whining." The sound's coming from him? Carl stops. 

I'm sorry. I'm just freaking out for you, Judy Bear," he explains. Being an Omega sucks. He'll never ever want that for his little sister. But something tells him that she might not be.

"I'm fine, Carly Tiger," she huffs, rolling her eyes dramatically. Carl laughs, until he realizes what she called him. 

'Carly Tiger'?" he asks, confused. Judith giggles. 

"Yup! Oh, and if I even am an Omega, I'll try and find an Alpha mate, just like our mom, Lori," Oh yeah, Judith calls Michonne "Mom", and Lori "our mom". Carl nods reluctantly, sighing. "Oh, by the way, while you were gone, did you find a mate or crush, y'know, in the Saviors?" 

"Um…" Judith brightens. 

"What gender? Alpha, Beta, or Omega? Probably Alpha, what am I thinking, but still!" she pokes him. 

"He, Carl mumbles, "and he's an Alpha. We're not mates, though." Judith squeals, and she pretends to swoon. Carl laughs, relaxing. Of course his little sister will accept him. She's his little ray of sunshine. 

"Be right back!" she exclaims suddenly. 

When she returns, she has two spoons, and a big bowl of chocolate pudding. It reminds Carl of earlier that day, and he smiles. 

"Scootch." she demands, and Carl does it immediately. What a commanding little girl. 

"You better not spill," Carl warns. Judith rolls her eyes again and settles back down next to him. 

They eat the pudding together, and when they're done, Carl throws the bowl away in the trash Carl has in his closet, for such reasons. 

On impulse, he grabs a piece of candy from his stash, unwraps it, and dangles it above Judith's head. 

"Be a good puppy and bark for me," he coaxes. She barks. Real loudly, too. "Beg," Carl laughs. She begs with her adorable puppy-dog eyes. "Shake." She holds out a hand doggy-style, and Carl shakes with her. He then drops the candy into her mouth, and she kisses him on the cheek. 

Soon enough, her soft breathing turns into more heavy breaths, and Carl is lulled by her heartbeat and breathing. 

'Now I'm home,' he thinks, falling asleep himself. 

~

When Negan wakes up the next morning, he eats the leftovers of the breakfast he had made the morning before. 

The place sounds empty without Carl's complaining, looks odd without him standing awkwarly around, smells weird without the occasional smell of sadness, and _lots_ of attraction. Feels broken without being around him. 

Negan finds a knife of his that he isn't particularly fond of, and shrugs. Probably Carl, wanting protection just in case if Negan decided to do something. 

'Or more…' a little voice whispers in his head. 'Or he used it to hurt himself.' Negan winces. He doesn't exactly want to be the technical one who helped Carl in his evil deeds. His hurting himself. That Negan _never checked._

A couple of hours pass, and Negan gets continuously more restless. He starts drinking. Like he does to escape these things. 

A little while later, Dwight stops by, and he scowls when he sees Negan drinking.

"What? I'm bored. And alone. Because of the damn kid…" Negan defends himself weakly, shrugging. Dwight sighs. They both sit on the couch, and Dwight turns to Negan after some silence. 'Ah… can't keep quiet,' Negan thinks affectionately. 

"The kid? Carl? What's up?" Dwight asks, raising his eyebrows. Negan scowls this time. 

"He's… affecting me," Negan admits. "It's sooo annoying. And… well, he's nice. He's such a sweet kid. He really likes me, that I can definitely tell. And inside me, everything is saying, 'be there for him, love him, take care of him'. All the time. Every goddamned day. Ever since I met him and he sat in front of me when I patted the couch." he pauses to chuckle. "It was endearing, sort of, at first. The way he seemed to blush a lot at what I was saying. The way he seemed to be smitten when I grinned at him. He made me like being around him. He made me feel like that kind of, too. He made - _makes_ me feel happy. Proud when he compliments my things. I'm going soft." he takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair. "And I miss him. Everything - the house, mainly - seems empty, even though he didn't talk often. So quiet… I want him back." his face crumples. 

Realizing that he just spilled his guts for Dwight to see, he falls silent. 

Dwight places a cautious hand on Negan's shoulder, watching for his reaction. Negan relaxes. 

"Negan…" Dwight seems at a loss for words. "Negan, it's okay. And I would seriously consider you two being mates. You really do end up with the person you last expected. That's how I got Sherry. Didn't even really look at her much… yeah. Sometimes fate happens, and you have to just accept it and move on. This time, with Carl in tow. You've always been someone to just live life happily, and it's annoying as shit, but you have to bounce back this time." 

"But Sherry isn't a _fucking teenager_." Negan growls, going to his main issue. Dwight sighs. 

"You don't get to choose who, or how old they are. It just is." Dwight stands up and smiles kindly. "I'm going to go now. You better stop drinking." 

After Dwight leaves, Negan mocks him, saying "You better stop drinking" in a ridiculously high-pitched voice. But Negan keeps repeating one thing his friend had said in his head to reassure himself; "It just is".

Negan stands up and starts pacing, a calming thing he does whenever he's anxious. 

"It's all okay," Negan murmurs to himself. "I'm fine. It's fine. But if I wasn't such a dumb asshole…" he shakes his head. "Nope! Don't beat yourself up about this. You didn't do anything. It's okay." 

Still talking to himself, Negan goes to his room and sits in front of his bookshelf. He looks through all of the Alpha, Beta, Omega Dynamics books he has. 

"Oooh," he whispers, finding a particular one that he always consults his problems with. He opens it to the section about possibly having a connection/being mates. The signs aren't completely proven, but they're seen often, so they'll do. 

_1: Seeming attached very quickly._

"Hmph." Negan huffs. He moves on to the next one, not thinking really _any_ of these shit-things are right. " 'Two: feeling a pain or sadness when parted'." he says out loud. "Riiight." 

_3: Feeling immensely happy when you see each other next._

_4: Being jealous when you see the other person with a close friend or other._

" 'Five: missing the other person's scent, and seeking a thing that smells like the other person'." Negan scoffs. "Okay, at least that one isn't true." 'Yet…' his head warns. 

He slams the book shut, pretty much done with it, but leaves it out of the bookshelf, knowing that he'll return to it later. 

"Fuck fuckity fuck fuck goddamn it," Negan growls. He goes back into the living room, trying to relax. "But maybe… just maybe… we are?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too bad Summary, right? Oof, I hope not. Did you like the chapter? I would love comments, and kudos if you please. They always brighten my day, and I'll always answer when I can.
> 
> The nightmare wasn't that bad, there's much weirder and worse to come. (0.0) it's creepeh.
> 
> What do you think Judith is? Alpha, Beta, or Omega?


End file.
